Misunderstood
by Victorious-Mind
Summary: What happens when Roy tries to see an injury that Edward is trying to hide? Well, let's just say this is a bit of mock-yaoi. xD Parental!RoyEd Rated T for mature themes. ABSOLUTELY NON-YAOI!


A/N: Okay, now this story is…well…parental. But uh…yaoi fans… ACTUALLY, WHATEVER. I just hope it makes you laugh. XD

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Misunderstood

Ed stumbled into the Eastern Headquarters, his report clutched loosely in his hand. He put his hand on his stomach and slightly rubbed the stab wound he'd gotten in his previous mission. Of course, the hospital had wanted him to stay a while longer but Ed had no intention of such thing. For one, he hated hospitals. If he waited for his wound to heal, then the Colonel would give him a speech on how his report was late.

And if Edward told him about his injury, then he'd have to listen to a whole another speech about how _reckless_ he was and how he was going to _get himself killed one of these days_ and that he would be getting _lot of paperwork_ and _a bunch of hate from everyone for letting the "Hero of the People" be killed_ and _OH JOY._

So Ed just hid it and tried not to let it show like he many times before. He'd tried many times but had only succeeded in pretending to be well only a few times no matter how good he was. Almost all the time, something would go wrong, and Ed would let out a whimper, or a wince, and Mustang would figure it out.

There was that one time he was giving his speech and he had coughed up blood all over the floor. Then there was that time he was sick and had fainted from fever. And oh, he could never forget that one time where Havoc had bumped him in the hall, right where his broken ribs were.

And no matter how injured he was and no matter how much he'd gotten everyone so worried – Al being on top of that list as always – he'd have to hear a well-planned out lecture from Colonel Roy Mustang about being too selfless, and that he was stupid for causing himself pain, and that soon the upper ranks were going to find out and get angry at him for not properly taking care of Ed, his subordinate, and _everything was going to get messed up._

So, no matter what Ed did, he was getting a speech. That was, unless he managed to hide his injury this time. Just like that time where he'd worn a turtle-neck sweater to hide the bruises on his neck where the criminal had tried to choke him. He had told Roy that he'd gotten cold and Mustang hadn't suspected a thing.

Ed straightened his shoulder, took a deep breath, and tried to ignore the pain in his abdomen and turned the corner.

Lieutenant Hawkeye was standing outside, when she normally would be inside along with the rest of the crew. But Edward didn't question her. She saluted him and Ed saluted her back and entered the office of Colonel Roy Mustang.

Surprisingly, everyone – Breda, Havoc, Falman, Fuery and Hawkeye who was outside – were gone. Colonel Roy Mustang was alone, sitting in front of his desk, full of paperwork. He raised his head as Ed came in, and stared at the piece of paper in his hand.

"Well, look who's back?" Mustang started. "The pipsqueak's here."

"Who are you calling a pipsqueak, you jerk!" Ed yelled.

Roy held his hand out. "Give it here. Let's see how much trouble you caused this time." He said.

Ed slowly walked towards Mustang's desk, step by step. As he was about to hand the report to him, he slightly bumped his stomach at the edge of the desk.

He shut his eyes tight and didn't make a sound.

_Oh, damn it…_

He opened his eyes to find the Colonel bastard observing him. "Interesting…" Roy mumbled, staring at him with curious eyes.

Ed took a few steps back. "Uh, so yeah, there's the r-report. I should really go, A-Al's waiting for me back at the inn…" he muttered nervously, turning around and heading for the door.

Roy Mustang stood up and headed for Edward. "Oh no, you don't." he said. He grabbed the hood of Ed's red coat and pulled him back. Edward turned around as the Colonel put his hands on his shoulders, preventing him from moving. "Let's see…" Roy said. "Is it a burn? Did you get shot? Stab wound? Broken rib? Are you bleeding?"

Ed raised his right arm and punched Mustang on the stomach, forcing him to remove his hands.

"You little brat!"

The next thing Ed knew was that the Colonel had tripped him and he hit the floor. He gasped, all the air knocked out of him. He had fallen on his wound, and he felt like he had no energy.

Before he could figure out what happened, Mustang was sitting on his hips, preventing him from running away.

"HEY!"

"You can't hide anything from me."

Ed glared at him, and raised his arms once again to punch him, this time in the face. But Mustang caught both his arms and pinned his wrists above his head.

"Don't punch me, Fullmetal." Roy mumbled. "I'm your superior officer. And plus, I'm trying to help you, stubborn brat."

Edward could have easily used alchemy, but suddenly, he felt too tired to do anything.

As Roy unzipped his undershirt and began raising his shirt up to see the wound, Ed panicked. He did the first thing that came to his mind.

He screamed.

* * *

It was normal for yells to be heard from Colonel Roy Mustang's office. Especially when Ed was here. The crew always waited those days where Ed and Al would come back, and Edward and Roy would have one of their arguments. It was hilarious.

Lieutenant Hawkeye stood outside of Colonel's office, waiting for Havoc, Fuery, Falman and Breda to return. They were sent to deliver a few paperwork that needed to be signed by other colonels in the building.

A few seconds after Ed went in, Hawkeye had heard him yelling. The Colonel had definitely called him short again.

The four men that had left were seen around the corner. Riza gave a little smile.

"Ed's inside." She said.

"Really?" Havoc asked.

"They're gonna bicker again." Breda mumbled.

"Aw, we missed it." Fuery added.

Falman just nodded.

Just then, a scream came from the room.

"HELP ME!"

It was Ed. The crew froze. Hawkeye tensed and her hand went to her gun.

"**THE COLONEL'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!**"

There was a very short awkward silence.

Havoc kicked the door open, the rest of the crew peeked their heads inside.

Edward was lying on the ground on his back, with Colonel Roy Mustang pinning him to the ground by sitting on his hips. Roy also had both of Ed's wrists pinned above his head with one hand while his other hand had pulled Edward's shirt up to look at the stab wound at his stomach.

Of course, the crew didn't notice the injury.

Hawkeye pulled out her gun and shot next to Roy's head, putting a bullet through his desk. Ed winced.

"What the hell…" Havoc said, mouth open.

Fuery raised his hands to his head.

Breda raised his eyebrows. "You're kidding, right?"

Falman couldn't even find the words.

Roy's head snapped up and he removed his hand from Ed's wrists. "I-It's not like t-that!" he stuttered. "This brat had a-an injury he was trying to h-hide and I was trying to f-figure out where before he b-bled all over the carpet."

Hawkeye lowered her gun.

Everyone stared at Ed.

"Just get this pedophile of me." He said, weakly.

Roy whacked him hard on the head as he got up.

"Ow…"

"One of these days, I'm going to court-martial you."

"You know, Ed." Riza started calmly. "The Colonel could be kicked out from his job if someone else heard you say that."

Edward turned on his side, pulling his knees to his chest, but didn't make a move to get up from the floor. "Well, I kinda freaked out." He mumbled. "The bastard was trying to…take of my…" he closed his eyes and went limp.

Havoc cracked grin. "For a second there, I really though…" he started, but Roy shot him an angry glare.

Roy sat back on the couch and crossed his arms, staring at the unconscious body lying on the ground. "Fuery, can you call the medical team?" he said.

He nodded and left.

"Breda, can you call Alphonse?" He ran a hand through his hair, sighing. "Remind him to not let his brother come here if he's injured again." He looked towards Riza's way, but didn't meet her eyes. "Because one of these days, I'm going to get killed because of him…"

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A/N: WELL? You weren't expecting that, were you? Haha xD

REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT!

THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING! ;D SEE YOU NEXT TIME!


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